Why Did I wait until the Last Minute to Start Memorizing the Dialogue?

Anyone that has taken more than one Bikram yoga class (firstly, congratulations for surviving your first class and coming back!) knows that the "Dialogue" -- that is what the teacher leads you through during the 90 minutes you are in class, is the same from class to class. It is the same 26 postures, in the same order EVERY TIME you go to practice. What changes, of course, is YOU, day to day, hour to hour, your body is different. And that is the beauty of Bikram yoga. You can go to any Bikram studio ANYWHERE in the WORLD and take a class. People do it all the time, stop by our studio, which is near the San Francisco Airport, either flying in or flying out. I can practice in SoCal when I go to visit my son. Took classes in Oahu when vacationing last year. It is wonderful. And comforting.
But you know, as many classes as I have taken, as many times as I have heard, those familiar words,I thought I knew the Dialogue, until it was time to begin memorizing it -- word for word -- for teacher training. Then suddenly, nothing makes sense, it as if I have never heard these words before in my life. And I was a foreign language major in college, and always priding myself on having a decent memory and vocabulary. But, I tell you, I might as well be trying to learn though Brain surgery in Thai, for as much headway as I am making on this memorization.
I have been at it in earnest for a little more than a month (why or why didn't I start LAST SUMMER??) and I can honestly say I have less than half the 26 postured memorized.
I am truly having a block here.
I have enlisted all the TIPS and aids of friends who have taken the training before me, as well as teaching professionals, and learning specialists. So far to date these are the tips I have tried.
1. Went to Kinkos and had dialogue shrunk and laminated and three hole punched and put on a ring so I can sweat and memorize and flip through the pages. (Will probably bring with me to my first REAL class as a crunch).
The problem is with the smaller print, these old eyes can't read it as well.
2. Tape recorded my voice SAYING the Dialogue. I play this tape, in my car, while I sleep, while I walk around the parking lot on my two ten minutes breaks and half hour lunch break at work. Sometimes I recite with the tape, sometimes I just listen, often times I just ZONE OUT.
The problems are 1. I am wearing out the batteries too fast, then my voice gets really slow and I get impatient because I can say it faster than I do on the tape OR
I get lost trying to recite with the tape and then give up.
3. I have highlighted every single line of the 40 pages of Dialogue in a different colored highlighting pen. Always in the same order of color. So that when I am memorizing and saying it back to myself, I can "see" the Orange line, then the pink, line then the Blue line, etc.
The problem is I seem to be getting STUCK on the BLUE line a lot. I know it is a blue line next, but can't remember what it is. End of frustrated and go to bed.
4. I say the Dialogue in front of the Boyfriend (well, soon to be ex-boyfriend after this experience, I am afraid). I ask him to stop me if I say one word wrong, I hesitate at all.
The problem is that he DOES stop me when I get a word wrong "the knee" or "your knee" OR "in the mirror" or "on the mirror". I end of getting upset, saying I can't do this, and storm off.
5. I physically DO the poses while I am reciting them. (They just LOVE me in the Company Lunch room, or at the copy machine waiting for my reports to collate!)
The problem, I either loose my balance, get red in the face and want to pass out, or forget the line and have to hold it forever. (My poor students, I think!)
6. I do well, memorizing say the first five in the Series. Then go on to the next one. The next day I go back to #3 and I have forgotten it again and get frustrated.
I am discovering a pattern here.
7. I even go to sleep with the tape of Bikram himself teaching an audio class. I hate to say it, but even HE doesn't say it word for word in his own class!

I wish I could see the pattern here, but not yet. Someone told me, if you learn one thing at teacher training it would be to learn what kind of a Learner you are. Right now I'd say a LAZY one!!
I mean I always knew I was a procrastinator. "Last Minute Lizzy" my mom used to call me. But this is beyond that.
Can I blame age? Maybe.
Can I blame the stress the rest of my life? Perhaps
I am finding that the Brain is another muscle that got loose and flabby during these NON-BIKRAM years. And this muscle is harder to get into shape.
It is the Eleventh Hour.
I have 18 days until that first Meet and Greet and I am determined to get the rest in.
Time to sign off and get after that Tree Pose.

How I got here

This is the "Before Bikram" me. Very Overweight, very out of shape,very miserable inside and out. I had one of those Ah ha moments one morning about two years ago, when I dropped the soap in the shower, and literally could not bend down to pick it up. I thought to myself, my goodness, if I am this stiff and sore at 51, what will I be like at 70? So after the New Year, two girlfriends and I gave each other the gift of 30/30 --30 days of unlimited yoga at the Bikram Studio in Burlingame, CA. Not that I could complete the entire 90 minutes without having to sit out several times (for several weeks) or that I could do all the postures (some morning practices I still feel that way!), but I knew this was the place for me.

Something beautiful is happening here, the sign says on the studio door, and they are right. We can talk about the physical benefits of the practice -- the 27 lbs. lost, the firming up of long dormant muscles, the regaining of lost flexibility (yes, I am able to pick up the soap in the shower MOST mornings.) but it is so much more, isn't it?

I love how the body always surprises me. I love the discipline of the practice. I love how even the worst day in the yoga room is better than just about any piece of chocolate I can imagine. This coming from a life long choc-o-holic who works for a candy company!

I have been blessed with the love and support of many gifted and generous teachers at my studio. And I greedily soak up all they have to offer. From K,who has taught me to hold it longer than I really want to, and that it doesn't always have to be a struggle. From V, that my practice will be a life long journey, and to accept my body where it is today without judgment; from J, the power of the Now; from L, the Yumminess of it all. From, R, the power of stillness and that it is only energy shifting, From BV, Tough Love, Baby, and it's all there in the Dialogue. From D, my first teacher, with her gentle way and loving spirit, the power of Gratitude in our lives, you just can't be in a bad mood after one of her classes. From B, always learn technique, how to guide my breath into different parts of the body (still gotta work on that one) and that you can have a twisted sense of humor and still be a great yoga teacher!
And so, inspired by those who so generously gave of themselves to teach me, I feel compelled to carry it forward. Not that I am anyone special, with any great wisdom to impart. Just the opposite, I just a regular person, putting one foot in front of the other, day by day, who has benefited tremendously from my Bikram Yoga practice. A testament to the line, "If I can do it ANYBODY can do it", Let's just hope Bishnu Ghosh really knew what he was talking about when he said, "You are never too old to start all over again."

This teacher training will test me to the core on so many levels that I know of (physical, mental, spiritual) and probably many, many more that I have not even ventured to think about yet.
Since my first class two years ago, I have completed more than 650 classes,and I have just completed 75 days of /Bikram in a row, trying to do doubles on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays, trying to get ready for what is to come. Not near enough probably to prepare me for this training, but it will just have to be because time is almost here........

Blog day 1 -- 21 days to Vegas, Baby!

First, I need to thank, Rob, for the patience he provided to set this up for me. I am slightly challenged by technology, but many of my yoga friends asked that I write this blog of my experience during the 9 weeks of Bikram Teacher Training (coming up WAY TOO SOON in Las Vegas).
My name is Liz. A fifty something Bikram student in San Mateo, California. I have been practicing Bikram yoga for two years. I decided to "take the plunge" and attend teacher training in Las Vegas this Spring. What sounded like a very romantic and noble undertaking in the beginning, will soon become a reality, and I am scared SH*TLESS! What on earth was I ever thinking? How did I think I could DO this. Well, I am committed now (or should I say I SHOULD be committed now?), the money's been paid, the time taken off work, the route has been charted in my GPS! I should be excited, but I am just very anxious.
In the coming days, I will write a bit more about what Bikram Yoga means to me, why I want to give back through teaching, and what I am doing (and NOT BEEN DOING -- /AKA, procrastinating) to get ready for my voyage.
Stay tuned as I embark on the ride of my life!