Beautiful Barstow!

Well here I am -- 7 hours out of San Mateo in beautiful Barstow, CA. The drive through the Tehachapee (spelling) Mountains was breathtaking -- still alot of snow in those hills! GPS and mapquest gave me radically different directions on how to get here --but get here I did without incident -- well I thought I lost my cell phone at a rest stop in Hanford or Lemoore or something but just when I was ready to call somebody to call me so I could find it --I mean I dumped everything out of my purse, car, everything my book bag began to ring and all was good. forgot to pack the little cord that lets me connect camera to pc -- so hopefully someone will have one at training because I have the most hilarious shot of me in front of the car with ALL MY CRAP before I left. OMG i hope this training teaches me among other things to tread and travel lightly! Even bought more STUFF at Walmart tonight (never go there hungry -- bought so much snack food that it's not even funny!) not enough room for a passenger in my car right now -- my poor roommate! Using Al's ANCIENT lap top and every once in a while I must hit a key by mistake and either erase everyTHING I HAVE WRITTEN or it puts it in some random order. My emails are like Picasso paintings! Didn't miss a practice today -- brought my Bikram tape and did it in my hotel room. First time I actually DID the practice with the tape -- usually just listen to it (and fall asleep) so was surprised to hear him sing to us at the end. almost like a lullaby, very cute, very comforting. But he better not quit his day job to become a singer that is all I can say. Too excited to sleep, will work on dialogue a bit with the tape player before turning in. Want to leave around 8 or 9 -- after complementary free breakfast of course! -- to get there around 11 -- still two hours out -- check in at 1 and orientation at 3. Yikes, I am like a kid the night before the first day of kindergarten! Had a delicious dinner of chicken breast with brochuttia over fresh spinach and fresh asparagus. Figured what the heck, I will be burning it off soon enough. But somehow feel REALLY FULL. Always happens when I travel -- the internal systems get clogged up. MORE WIND REMOVING POSE, PLEASE! SORRY FOR THE BLUNTNESS AND FOR THE TYPOS CAN'T FIGURE THIS THING OUT YET!

Slacking Off

Well, I am officially behind on my memorization now. Haven't looked or listened to the Dialogue in two days. Not that I am not motivated, it is just that work and personal life kind of out of control right now.
But I am getting all the important stuff done -- ha ha. Like book an appointment for a Brazilian Bikini wax for Friday, hair cut on Tuesday, (although why the hair cut I don't know, not that I am going to be caring about what I look like either during or after two hot classes a day!, ordered and got the first copy of Bikram's Beginning Yoga book to have Mr. B sign, got all my Vitamins and Supplements from Drugstore.com. Going through all my gear and clothes for NO GREEN and what to take. Took my dog to the person that will be watching her for the nine weeks while I am gone -- that was very emotional for many reasons I won't get into at this time on this blog. Making arrangements for bills to be paid, mail to be sent or put on hold, telling my contacts at work that my desk will be in very capable hands. I have been practicing regularly, every day, but only once a day, and my only other constant is the chiropractor. Shoulders and neck are killing me. I am starting to get excited, starting to believe that I can do this, that I will do this, that I will be a Bikram instructor. The image of that in my head is what keeps me going. I am holding on to that. Off to do my work/trade at the studio -- my home studio which is a non-offiliated studio, who cares, I love it and it is home to me, and then practice. Appointment after work, and if all works out, meditation class tonight. In dire need of grounding. Finished the book on Awaking from Grief today at lunch. Can't recommend it enough for anyone who is dealing with any kind of loss: friend, job, death of parent, whatever. It is truly a gift, this book.
Be well.

Two weeks from today I will "Be in the Business"

This time two weeks from now I will actually be in Las Vegas for the start of teacher training. I can't believe the time is almost here. Staying on track to have all postures memorized before I get there. Whether I will be able to recall them all after I get there is another story, but at least I know that at one time they were in there. I am going to practice saying first side of Half Moon tomorrow in front of the 4:30 class. It is a tough group, my peers, but also supportive, and K thinks that once I say it in front of them, then it won't be so bad saying it in front of 350 and Mr. B. Besides, it will give me the opportunity to say the Dialogue in front of some one other than my dog. I wish I would have gotten more support with this on the home front, but that was not the case, and so be it. I am content saying it in front of Molly, (she likes it the more animated I get) and into my hand held recorder. There are some many uncertainties in my life right now. This will be very different when I get back and I worry about job, relationship, health of my mom. But I cannot second guess my decision to attend training now. I need to stop worrying about what may not even happen (or is happening and I am powerless to do anything about it) and concentrate on the NOW. Because I am making myself sick in the stomach and not sleeping at all. I worked registration today at my yoga studio (and YES, we were open for all classes EXCEPT two this Easter Sunday, and classes were well attended). Somebody is trying to send me some confidence and white light. There was a note in my cubby which read, "You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." --Buddha. I think I will be there with that right now.

Two Weeks Until I Leave

Two weeks from today, I will be loading up my little econ-car full of all my mats, yoga wear, supplements, bullet blender, detergent, GPS, coconut water, etc. and heading on down the road for the two-day drive to Las Vegas. Oh my, I cannot believe it!
I have been feeling a little bit less nervous about the Dialogue Memorization. I have myself on a strict one posture a day diet, and if I continue the way I should, I will get them all memorized with two days to spare. Cutting it close for sure, but that seems to be the way I roll! Let's just hope they STAY in there memorized, if not, I know there are in there somewhere.
Continuing to practice every day at my home studio, but only once a day now EXCEPT on Friday, Saturday and Sundays. It feels like a holiday practically. Was a little distracted during Silent class yesterday -- too much chatter, too much excitement going on in my head. Did a little last minute buying/returning of things I think I might need for the trip. Sunscreen for sure (hopefully I won't be spending 24/7 in the yoga room or hotel room and can memorize out by the pool! Also, trying to get a couple of cover ups as they have asked that we not parade the hotel lobby floor in our dripping wet, toxic yoga clothes and scare all the other paying guests!
Very hard to try and find fashion right now with no hint of green in it, but I think what I have will be fine. Ordered up all my Electrolytes, and vitamins for the 9 weeks -- they should come next week. I also found on line the very first edition of Bikram's Beginning Yoga book from 1978. Bought it for $2.99! Hope it comes before I leave because I would love to have Mr. B sign all three of my books! How fun. Doing an herbal tea detox right now for 10 days before I go and trying to meditate every night to be ready both inside and out.
No more, "If I only had a better _______ posture." or "It I had only lost 10 more pounds." or "If I had only started memorizing the Dialogue last year." stuff. It is what it is and it will all be just fine. To think otherwise is just not getting me where I want to be. Looking forward to a good chiropractic adjustment and massage tonight. Must remember to get the name of a good person down in Las Vegas. Will take the 6:30 class after my adjustment -- I just love practicing after I have been aligned! I feel so much "bendier". Will work the front desk at Yoga, close up and hopefully still have time to drop an Easter basket that we pulled together at work for a friend that is home ill. That will be the perfect end to a great day, to see my friend, whom I have missed so much since she has been out on sick leave. Have started reading a book recommended by Yoga Journal, "Awakening From Grief, finding the Way back to Joy," by John E. Welshons. I can't recommend it highly enough. Very beautiful, but keep the kleenex handy!